His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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