I want you more than these girls want KFC
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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