if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
