That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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