I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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