No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
