Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
