I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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