I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
