we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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