hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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