i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
