you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
