You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
