are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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