On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dignity is for republicans.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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