I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
