i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
