Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
