I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize