the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize