My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
