I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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