I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
