got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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