Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
