Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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