ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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