lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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