What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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