so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
