I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
