I seem to have left my pride at pride
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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