ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
