did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
