idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
