she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize