the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
why is half of my head shaved?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
