she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
