If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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