when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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