the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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