I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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