Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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