Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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