Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
