I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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