everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize