hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
