Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize