I seem to have left my pride at pride
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
