Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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