my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
