we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
